BEVERLY HILLS, California — It's not every day that you walk into a room and find someone explaining the presidential-primary process to one of the most famous women in the world. It's not every day that your job has you discussing Marilyn Monroe, farting and whether Osama bin Laden is hot or not.

Then again, it's not every day that you interview Paris Hilton.

The heiress' new film, "The Hottie and the Nottie," opens in theaters Friday, and she's been touring extensively to promote it. Perhaps that's why, on the eve of Super Tuesday, her co-star Christine Lakin was explaining the word "primary" to her before the two gave an interview to MTV News. Or maybe "The Simple Life" wasn't an act, and she just really doesn't care about who becomes the next leader of the free world. Either way, here's the amazing word-for-word transcript of a hot conversation between Paris, her co-star, and yours truly.

Christine Lakin: This [week] is just the primary, though.

Paris Hilton: What does that mean?

Lakin: It's like, it means it's like the first round. It's like, you know, you have draft picks or whatever.

Hilton: Oh.

Lakin: It's like, you have to vote for who you want to be in the ... finals.

Hilton: Oh. How many people?

Lakin: One from each party, you know, can go. So like, from Democrats ... it's like, you know what I mean? Those two.

Hilton: Oh, OK, so either one?

Lakin: Obviously, I'm voting Democrat.

[At this point, the interview formally begins.]

MTV: Hi, guys. So Paris, you play a hottie named Cristabel in this movie. But tell us about a real-life instance when you felt like a nottie.

Hilton: Every girl does sometimes. In my last film ["House of Wax"], my face falls off, and I look like Freddy Krueger. It's all prosthetics, obviously. It was supposed to look like nothing but under-your-skin. I really felt just hideous that day.

MTV: Your character, Cristabel, offers many words of wisdom in the movie, but we want to know if Paris Hilton agrees with them. Here's the first movie quote: "95 percent of the way people see you is the way you see yourself."

Hilton: Yeah, I believe that. It's just in your confidence and what you feel inside. It comes through your eyes and comes through your soul, and people can see it.

MTV: Here's the next Cristabel quote: "I've always wanted to be a bride. It's every girl's dream."

Hilton: Oh, yeah. I don't want to be one right now, but I'd love to be a bride one day.

MTV: "When you really like someone, you're willing to overlook their flaws."

Hilton: That one's true. If you are in love with someone, and you discover their flaws, you can just get over it if you really love them.

MTV: What kind of flaws have you overlooked with your men in years past?

Hilton: [She laughs.] I don't know. Annoying things guys do, like the bragging, the lying.

MTV: Next movie quote: "It's not like I have trouble getting dates."

Hilton: That's true. [She laughs.]